A hunter went into the woods and shot at a bear. But after the smoke cleared, the hunter saw that the bear wasn’t there. A moment later, the bear tapped the hunter on the shoulder and said, "No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers and I'll do you in the ass." The hunter decided that anything was better than death, so he dropped his trousers and bent over. After the bear finished, the hunter staggered into town and bought a larger, more powerful rifle. He returned to the forest, saw the bear, aimed and fired. But once again, when the smoke cleared, the bear wasn’t there. A moment later the bear tapped the hunter on the shoulder and said, "You know what to do." Afterwards, the hunter pulled up his trousers, crawled back into town and bought a bazooka. He returned to the forest, saw the bear, aimed and fired. The force of the bazooka blast knocked the hunter flat on his back. When the smoke cleared, the bear was standing over him and said, "You're not just doing this for the hunting, are you?”
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A guy walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas." The bartender poured the drinks and said, "You must have had one hell of a day." "Yes,” the man said. “I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day, the man returned to the bar and placed the same order. When the bartender asked what the problem was, the man said, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too." On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man downed the first drink and said, "Yeah, my wife!"
